I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
