Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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