I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
