I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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