Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
