Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
