Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize