You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
