oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Yo dont text me then not text me
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
smell my finger.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
