I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
