i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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