you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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