i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
