Kareoke will never be a sober sport
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
