the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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