I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Even my vagina gasped.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
