Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize