I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
