I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
