She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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