I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize