She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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