He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
