hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
