And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
