Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
