so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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