Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
