I hate your face
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
