I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
