Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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