You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
