He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize