normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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