its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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