Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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