your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
