Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
