Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
