They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
