yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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