Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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