this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
