I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
