Sry I called you an 8
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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