I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
