His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Welp...herpes.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I need water and some morals
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
