she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
