office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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