If that was your dad, he is hot
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
