I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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