You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
