I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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