I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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