Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
