Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize