That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
