How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
