Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
