I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i need some magic done to my vagina
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
