you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Fuck appropriateness.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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