You're completely useless in the revolution.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize